I was six weeks into my new job when the HR Director came to my desk and told me, “You need to join the union. They’ll be taking 1% of your salary.”
What union, I wondered? And why am I hearing about this now?
I explained reasonably that if this were necessary, then I would need a 1% increase in pay. After all, I was never told about this while negotiating for the position.
Long story short: there would be no 1% increase and if I wanted to stay employed, I would need to sign and pay. I was angry.
After venting about the issue privately, I was able to initiate a calm conversation with my boss. I offered creative options and by the end of our talk, I felt 100% better.
How was it done? By using a technique I call O-A-C-A:
Observation
Affect
Compassion
Ask
O-A-C-A is a template for saying what needs to be said in a way that honors both people.
Want to learn more? This week I completed a free interactive class where I describe it in detail. You are invited to enjoy it and share it by clicking on the picture below. I’d love to hear what you think.
Click the photo above to start the interactive video.
“What a lovely outfit,” I said to a colleague at my new job.
“There was nothing clean,” she replied apologetically. “I just threw this on.”
This woman was dressed in vivacious colors and carefully chosen accessories. What was she talking about?
The deflection of compliments is common and unfortunate. Though I believe it’s meant to be self effacing, it’s not a satisfying experience for the one who made the kind remark. It says, “Your opinion is incorrect – let me detail for you why.”
Are you a Compliment Deflector? If you are, it’s a habit that may be at first hard to catch. Listen to yourself in conversation. Do you make excuses for your talent, accomplishments or fabulous smile?
If this is you, here’s a suggestion: accept compliments for the joy that they bring. Say “Thank You!” Then shut up.
Rave Reads
Here’s a sassy book for the professional lady: The Corporate Dominatrix by Lisa Robyn. This intriguingly titled read suggests that in order to thrive in the corporate environment, gals would do well to adopt different styles or roles depending on the situation. I learned that at work I rank high in expressing my inner strength and intuition – the Goddess Role – and that I’d like to develop my sense of authority – the Queen Role. (Men, this may be a good gift for the Corporate Dominatrix in your life.)
Where in the World is Jean?
Now that I’m an employee, LAX is no longer my satellite office, my car is. I’ve decided to use the commute to set intentions for the day and pray. If you ever see me in my little orange Honda talking to myself, now you know what that’s all about.
Let’s talk about summer vacation plans. I’m heading to the Kern River for a rafting trip over the 4th of July weekend. How about you? Got summer plans that give you joy? Please share!
In this world of high tech sometimes high touch – warmth, friendliness and human connection – can get lost. How can we have both? One way is to bring back the thank you note.
There are other ways to balance high tech with high touch. Every so often, instead of a tweet, pick up the phone and call the person. Once in a while, instead of an email, walk down the hall and chat with your collegue.
How are you bringing friendliness to our high tech world? I’d love to hear your suggestions and comments.
The BEST format helps you think through and phrase your goals in the most empowering way possible. BEST stands for:
Believable
Energizing
Specific
Timed
In today’s blog, we’ll focus on the S. Specific. Let’s say this is your goal: I don’t want to get stressed out at work anymore. That goal is a good start. It states clearly what isn’t wanted. The first step in making your goal specific is to phrase it so that it focuses on what you do want.
“I want to be more relaxed at work.”
Better! Now, what actions will help you be more relaxed? Deep breathing? Taking a few more breaks? Remembering to eat lunch? Revise your goal around a clear action:
“I will take five deep breaths before I eat my lunch each day.”
I’ve delayed writing this note to you. That’s because it can be hard to “get real.”
For me, getting real is admitting to myself and you that business is slow. I mean s……l…….o……w. The kind of slow that makes a girl look at her savings account and say, hey, we’ve got to take action.
And so I’m in what feels like an awkward place. I’m still offering my seminar and coaching services while widening my horizons for other ways to earn. I’ve learned it can be fun to start from scratch and ask, “What shall I be?”
A training expert at a global firm? A TV host of an educational show? Some great idea you will share with me that I haven’t thought of?
I hope that admitting my unglamorous truth is helpful to you in some way. I’m noticing that being more transparent feels good – lighter.
Have you had a get real moment recently? Do you need to have one? Email me back – let’s get real together.
Rave Reads
I’m in the midst of reading the book, “Getting Real.” The author, Dr. Susan Campbell teaches how to communicate and be authentic. It’s good stuff! Is it working?
Where in the World is Jean?
This month, you can find me in Albuquerque, New Mexico where I’ll be teaching a leadership class. Try looking away from your screen and spelling Albuquerque. If you can do it, you deserve a prize of some sort.
Are you by chance having a tough time lately? I'll keep my chin up if you will, too. Deal?
Did you know that according to one study, if you write a goal down, you’re 60% more apt to achieve it? You did if you read last week’s blog. Here’s the recap:
Writing goals can be a powerful way to create the life and career you want. The BEST format helps you think through and phrase your goals in the most empowering way possible. BEST stands for:
Believable
Energizing
Specific
Timed
In today’s blog, we’ll focus on the E. Energizing.
When you think about achieving your stated goal, are you excited? Do you feel energized by it? If so, your goal has passed the Energizing Test.
Some people write goals for themselves that they don’t really want to achieve. Writing a goal and not being excited about it is usually the result of trying to want something that someone else wants you to want. It’s trying to be someone your not. Or in the simplest terms: people pleasing.
Let’s face it, goal setting usually means changing habits and trying new behaviors. It can be challenging so it better be worth it to you. That’s why it’s key to make sure your goals are energizing.
Next week, we’ll discuss the “S” in BEST. Are you psyched?
Honest & brilliant: It Won’t Matter:
My point, and I will make one, is that it doesn’t matter if yo... http://bit.ly/92ZfVO : Chris Brogan 16 hours ago
Honest & brilliant: How to Write a Blog Series:
I just completed a small series of blog posts that ... http://bit.ly/9csNcj : Chris Brogan 1 day ago
